THIS IS NOT A TEST is a bit broken, but aren’t we all? Fix soon come.

  • Love is at the root of our resistance

    Love is at the root of our resistance

     What the hell, let’s take a chainsaw to royalty, the desert, aliens with oversized heads, crazy glue, usenet, Airstream trailers, diplomas, fat and lazy cover bands, crushing and demoralizing your enemy, pig flesh, pigskin, loving it or leaving it, Amnesty International, smokescreens and the rise of the machines. We’ll talk about 14 of those…

  • Let us rave today, about things that are raveworthy

    Let us rave today, about things that are raveworthy

     Here, how about some Jade Bird, some signs of life, some Bob Dylan, some…country music? No. Some Shakespeare, Jimmy Fallon, Arrow de Wilde, cesspools, how art and culture are really life itself, Stephen Hines’ “the late season” book, undercurrents and undercutting, Jackson Pollock, Prince, 5 Hour Energy Drink, Western society, Victorian days, Leaving Las…

  • How to hypnotize a lizard

    How to hypnotize a lizard

    In which and wherein I proceed to speak on subjects as confounding and diverse as particles, time, unemployment, maximizing one’s potential, training chickens, meaning and purpose, milk trucks, the pervasive mystery of Atlassian Confluence, rhythm, mojo, management philosophies, buying and selling, Joe Strummer, Lake Woebegone and the End of the Road in Homer Alaska, Craigslist,…

  • THIS IS NOT A TEST is now on Spotify

    THIS IS NOT A TEST is now on Spotify

    I’ve been trying to get the show onto Spotify ever since they started serving up podcasts, but you can’t just stick your show on there, they have to decide to take it. It’s been so long since Libsyn submitted it for me that I kind of forgot about it, but I see that some time…

  • What could possibly go wrong?

    What could possibly go wrong?

     This one may sound a little weird because it’s the first episode recorded in the new studio (a.k.a. the spare bedroom of the house we just moved in to). Try to ignore the echo and instead just revel in the hilarity of bronchitis, 768 Kbps Internet, rain on cardboard boxes, hustlers and con artists,…

  • You can make a statement, but keep it brief

    You can make a statement, but keep it brief

     Oh Canada, the San Gabriel Valley, LSD, white bread, the Oscar race (pretty sure he’s white – har har), the wonderful and marvelous (and now dead) Joe Frank, the proximity effect, Craigslist again because apparently I’m a masochist, and last but not least on this abbreviated episode for an abbreviated month: how I became…

  • Walk through Paisley Park, and keep on movin’

    Walk through Paisley Park, and keep on movin’

     This episode is two days late for reasons which may reveal themselves when you listen. And who wouldn’t want to listen to a scintillating discussion about deviled ham, touring Prince’s home and recording studio Paisley Park – a cotton candy Barbie dream condo if ever there was one, landlords, looking for a new job,…

  • A Trip to Bukowski’s House

    A Trip to Bukowski’s House

     Over the river and through the woods, to Bukowski’s house we go. This is just me talking about what it was like there, and how I wound up there. It’s a brief tale that I thought you’d like to hear. But don’t let it inspire you to go to Bukowski’s house uninvited. That wouldn’t…

  • A restless wind inside a letter box

    A restless wind inside a letter box

    Getting an email from Gene Simmons, why young boys must rock, spending fifty thousand dollars on a collection of outtakes, getting onto a cruise ship with really old rock stars, spending $250 on a collection that is basically The Beatles dicking around for 80 hours while being filmed, Ektachrome 500, the miracle of HAP (again),…

  • If I had a hammer

    If I had a hammer

    I come fully prepared to talk about supper clubs, The Hat Pack, the futility of it all, professional locksmiths, unprofessional landlords, professional “contractors,” ladders, distinctive tape measures, flashlights and sticky fingers, flying buttresses, Appalachia, apes painting window trim, you and your stereo and how great you are, whether or not it’s socially acceptable to call…

  • Everywhere is war

    Everywhere is war

    We may as well talk about modern-day lynch mobs and public shaming, that Nazi rally in Charlottesville, Twitter, getting “good PR” by piggybacking on a tragedy, censorship, Godwin’s law, Trump bulldozing people into mass graves, remembering the days of the free exchange of ideas with no governing body, Nazis having trouble finding online homes, riding…

  • Memoirs, overturned food carts and new stereo gear

    Memoirs, overturned food carts and new stereo gear

    Amble down the path with me, if you will, toward finishing the writing of books, promoting and getting reviewers to read said books, plastic, and metal, pushing birds out of nests, motors with moxie, selling window fans, oral histories, Roger Steffens and Bob Marley, faulty and fragile memories, tipping over a street vendor’s cart because…

  • Twin Peaks and David Lynch, Non-album B-sides, Orange Is the New Black and Kathy Griffin

    Twin Peaks and David Lynch, Non-album B-sides, Orange Is the New Black and Kathy Griffin

    I have the best of intentions when I record these, but sometimes things just get away from me. So I’m not sure what this one is “about,” but aside from what’s listed in the title you’ll also hear about PJ Harvey again (including never-before heard audio from an interview I did with her 10 years…

  • A hot night with PJ Harvey

    A hot night with PJ Harvey

    I caught PJ Harvey’s “The Hope Six Demolition Project” tour at the Greek Theater here in Los Angeles. Allow me to tell you about that, and about psychic space, outdoor music shows, croaking for dollars, staying relevant in the face of increasing waves of nostalgia, First Aid Kit and Fiona Apple, retiring from live shows,…

  • TV extravaganza: 46 reviews in 50 minutes!

    TV extravaganza: 46 reviews in 50 minutes!

    46 reviews in 50 minutes? How is that even possible, you may be asking. No wonder they call it an extravaganza! Well, that’s what this is. Maybe not an extravaganza, but 46 reviews in 50 minutes, as advertised. Though, honestly, it may be more of an opportunity for me to complain about what I don’t…

  • Operators are standing by

    Operators are standing by

    I set up a phone number to use for recording interviews, but I probably won’t ever use it for that, seeing as this isn’t really an interview kind of joint (well, okay, with the exception of Carol Es, Mat Gleason, and Hosho McCreesh). But since the number is there I may as well open it up…

  • I live here in Kill City, where the Snapchat meets the sea

    I live here in Kill City, where the Snapchat meets the sea

    This episode is ostensibly about Snapchat taking over all the buildings in Venice, but it’s really just an excuse for me to tell stories about living in Venice – where the debris meets the sea – a long time ago. You know, that and mucus, khakis, “Silicon Beach,” wombats, sticky carpets, sleeping bags, Sanford and…

  • Please make it a session, not another version

    Please make it a session, not another version

    Hi. Remember the beginning of the last thrilling episode, when I told you I was at the end of a week-long head and chest cold? Turns out I wasn’t. I spent another week or so sleeping pretty much around the clock and trying not to tip over from dizziness when I was awake. That put somewhat of a crimp…

  • This protest is brought to you by American Express

    This protest is brought to you by American Express

    Chaos and disorder fall upon a nation while millions march in the streets demanding…something. I’m just not sure what. So we may as well talk about protesting. And snakes, hot coals, stereo speakers, being polite, agitating, Century City, Reagan, patchouli, which hats are in fashion, Vietnam, the ERA, diet Coke, catastrophe and emergency, hypocrisy, mental…

  • Essential Bukowski – and a few non-essentials just for the hell of it

    Essential Bukowski – and a few non-essentials just for the hell of it

    It’s Bukowski time again, sort of, and along the way we may or may not touch on hair again, hopping on pop, nuclear winter, Ronald Reagan, “Baby, it’s cold outside,” Christmas songs, Cap’n Crunch, slapping broads around, male privilege, Rudy Vallee, amplified ants, Vietnam, the looming Trump era as a glass-half-full kind of thing, how…

  • The death of the truth

    The death of the truth

    You didn’t think I’d let this presidential election pass without saying something, did you? Well, actually, I had hoped to, but the whole thing didn’t exactly turn out the way a lot of us had hoped or expected, so here we are. As you may have noticed, the truth took a beating in the campaign…

  • My DNA can beat up your DNA (depending on the phase of the moon)

    My DNA can beat up your DNA (depending on the phase of the moon)

    Thrill to the description of my DNA test results, and stay on the edge of your seat as I also provide grandiose oratory on Bob Dylan’s Nobel prize, Leonard Cohen, Tony Orlando, Casper the friendly ghost, tar and feathers, lefse and lutefisk, astrology, whimsy, turpitude, sushi, Eve, culture wars, old white men, ISIS or ISIL…

  • A hot night with Cat Stevens

    A hot night with Cat Stevens

    On Thursday night Cat Stevens played a 50th-anniversary show at the Pantages Theater in Hollywood. If you couldn’t be there I have the rundown for you. [subscribe] Transcript

  • The light bulb over your head, The Beatles, and Love Trumps Hate

    The light bulb over your head, The Beatles, and Love Trumps Hate

    Bright ideas, Amazon reviews, everyday miracles, McMansions, Mark Lewisohn, anything for a quid, reading on a Kindle, how many books are too many, bar bands, Mozart, Ron Howard, take me out to the ball game, comparing politicians to pop groups, our magnificent political system, the fog of nostalgia, Chairman Mao, back hair, outsiders, your savior,…

  • Unhinged late summer miscellany

    Unhinged late summer miscellany

    I had a hard time titling this one because I’m more all-over-the-map than usual. I blame this brutal non-stop heat wave of a summer. But if you take a chance you will hear about soaking electronics in beer, the last VCR, digital cameras, the future, Ludwig von Köchel, (not) paying $150 for a CD, charming…

  • A hot night with Bunny Wailer

    A hot night with Bunny Wailer

    Bunny Wailer: Blackheart man, soul rebel, ruler of dancehall, legend. Plus Garbage – the band, not the stuff out behind your house – pink hair, people looking old before their time, Madonna, orthopedic shoes and K-Mart t-shirts, The Wailers, avoiding night flights, Madison Square Garden, electronic reggae, that rapper that Prince used, the Electric Slide,…

  • It’s a black and white thing

    It’s a black and white thing

    I know it’s not time for the monthly episode yet, but I just wanted to pop in, say hi, and talk about white people and black people in America. Just a little light-hearted chit chat about race. Don’t be scared. We’re all friends here. [subscribe] Transcript

  • Good evening St. Louis!

    Good evening St. Louis!

    It’s hot outside – here in the northern hemisphere, anyway – so let’s talk about the San Gabriel mountains, the Sahara desert, soldering, female foxes, marketing things to women, painting guitars pink, Elektra Records, Jac Holzman, accidental business, jug bands, the Stooges, odd pieces of art, West Hollywood, isolation and a short story called, “Good…

  • Happiness is a warm gun

    Happiness is a warm gun

    You have to wonder about things like guns, and June Gloom, the LGBLT community, preaching love, calling things “the worst in U.S. history,” Wounded Knee, your high school history book, wars, genocide, subjugation, cupcakes, immigrants and queers, throwing rocks at politicians, gun control, unemployment checks, Kickstarter, the emperor’s new clothes, swimming upstream, fluffing up your…

  • I wish I knew how to be happy about a three day weekend

    I wish I knew how to be happy about a three day weekend

    Here we go with the three day weekend, vacation, the near-impossibility of relaxation, Richard Nixon, gadgets, machines and thing-a-ma-bobs, fainting couches, VARIDESK, regular desks, making things disappear, harboring a grudge, robots, brain surgeons and grocery baggers, lanyards, key cards, backstage passes, Royal Crown Cola, spaghetti, the Clash, broom closets, elaborate props, the Rolling Stones, Donald…

  • Trying to describe my job, also, TMZ and celebrity tabloid trash culture

    Trying to describe my job, also, TMZ and celebrity tabloid trash culture

    I’m going to talk about my job for a minute, just because, but we’ll also talk about landlords, moving, the Mars rover, rejuvenating a 13 year old website, repetition and tedium, baby seals, crafting a lovely box, Cinderella, feeling ridiculous, magical thinking, talking goats, unicorns, the NATIONAL ENQUIRER, TMZ, rat kings, big-gulps, incubators, Paisley Park,…

  • Prince was not a genius. Or was he?

    Prince was not a genius. Or was he?

    Was Prince a genius? Hmm, good question. Let’s talk about having 50 albums worth of unreleased music in “the vault,” and some of the crazy, before-its-time shit he did when he was alive. Giants walk among us. Or at least they used to. You might also hear me say words about things like the Ostrich…

  • I was dreamin’ when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray

    I was dreamin’ when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray

    Let me tell you about bumping in to Prince on a Minneapolis street corner, but first we’ll probably talk about, oh, I don’t know, hair removal, P.J. Harvey, record reviews, taking a writer’s word for something, Rock Steady, big mailboxes, Siskel and Ebert and where their thumbs have been, the Christgau Consumer Guide, artistic merit,…

  • Why kids hate poetry and why you probably hate it too

    Why kids hate poetry and why you probably hate it too

    Maybe “hate” is too strong a word, but we’ll also go to Space Mountain, talk about wasting time, the smart way to do things, Richie Havens, literary magazines, how long “forever” is on the Internet, the answer to some people’s dreams, your AOL connection, The Knucklehead Chronicle, baby frogs, an uncaring universe, taking the small…

  • KISS, cassette tapes and the last time I mention Bernie Sanders

    KISS, cassette tapes and the last time I mention Bernie Sanders

    When you listen to THIS IS NOT A TEST you are not “consuming content,” 40 year old pictures, satin bell bottoms, Bob Ezrin, record stores, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd, Pet Sounds, insufferable twats, music floating on the breeze, ticket scalpers, being easily entertained, cardboard boxes full of cassette tapes,…

  • A cashless society: believe it or not!

    A cashless society: believe it or not!

    Are we sure we want a cashless society? Are we sure we want to hear about Victorian-era language, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!, delivering mail, buildings made from a single tree, Fiji Mermaids, Odditoriums, teenage vampire novels, working dogs from the UK, casinos, Taco Bell, the genius of credit card companies, above ground pools, iris…

Got any book recommendations?