This is not a test

What Did You Do Today?

This morning I did something to this site and broke it. Then I broke it again, and now it’s fixed. I think.

What broke was an old (old) theme that I’d built a child theme around. I knew the day was coming because the parent theme has been defunct for years now, but you know how it goes. “If it ain’t broke,” and all that.

WordPress is a dogshit framework, I have to say. Not because of what happened today, that was my fault. But I have to laugh when I read how EASY it is to use, and how ANYONE can make a BEAUTIFUL, groovy website with it.

That is a lie, my friends.

I write and read and edit WordPress tutorials every day, it’s a big part of my job. I would hazard a guess that I know more about WordPress than the average person walking down the street. But every time I have to go into WordPress or update WordPress or fix WordPress, I cringe, because it’s a big, unwieldy, bloated awful piece of shit.

When you tell me that the average person who wants a website—but doesn’t know how to build one—should use WordPress because it’s EASY, I say you are a sadist and a cad. And possibly mentally disturbed. How dare you!

Life Must Be Somewhere to Be Found

Allow me to regale you with more tales of packing up and moving, the Kingdom of Nye, the end of the road, Los Angeles, the high desert, America’s Next Top Model, the 60 freeway, LAX, the Milky Way, leaf blowers, Bedouins, mountain biking, Germans, landlords, cucumber water, and how Instagram is destroying the National Parks. If that’s not enough, I don’t know what to tell you.

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THIS IS NOT A TEST episode 103

Transcript

What Time Is It?

It’s the first Saturday of the month, that’s what time it is, and that means a brand new episode of THIS IS NOT A TEST!

Usually.

But not today, brothers and sisters. I am still digging out from under a(nother) house move, and I just can’t at the moment.

But I’ll be back as soon as humanly possible with more tales from the beyond.

Believe.

Prince and Morris Day celebrate THIS IS NOT A TEST taking a week off

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Hi. I’ve always been honest with you, except when I’m lying, so I have to say that I recorded this episode and put it on the shelf because I didn’t think it was good enough. “Good enough” being a subjective term, of course. But as it happens, I’m packing to move (again), which means there’s no time to come up with a replacement. So rather than leave a month-long hole in the schedule, I present you with this not-good-enough episode, where I talk about the death of Google Plus, shortwave radio, and rare books. When I emerge from the move and come up for air, I’ll let you know where I am in the world, and I’ll hit you with a top-notch, super-interesting, A-1 professional episode. Or just more of the same, that remains to be seen.

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THIS IS NOT A TEST - You Can't Always Get What You Want

Transcript

THIS IS NOT A TEST is now on Pandora

Sound the alarm, now you can get your THIS IS NOT A TEST fix on Pandora.

You can find it by searching for – you guessed it – THIS IS NOT A TEST on the Pandora Android app. I suppose that applies to the iPhone as well, but I don’t have any iAnythings to check for myself. For some reason, you can’t find any podcasts on the Pandora desktop app.

Like Spotify, Pandora isn’t open to just any podcast (yet, anyway), so make my backroom wheeling and dealing efforts worthwhile and listen while you…do whatever it is you do while listening to Pandora.

Soon there will be no escaping THIS IS NOT A TEST. You may as well give up and join us now before your mother starts talking about the show.

How a Jacket Changed My Life

This episode starts with a bang and just keeps bangin’ ’till the cows come home. LOL! LOL! We will discuss Jah Himself, hippies, Mahtomedi Minnesota, aliens, beaver, curry, secret handshakes, Toughskins, ski jackets, the birth of the puffy jacket and its early victims, living in your cousin’s basement, the leather store, the perfection of the Schott Perfecto, molesting outerwear, getting the shit kicked out of you, feeling invincible, being invincible, magic, romance, chaos, Sonny Vincent, being twins with your girlfriend, what is cool? osmosis, chaos and upheaval, writing the story that no one else will write.

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Transcript

Interview with Carol Es: Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley

In this ear-crushing aural assault on the senses, artist and author Carol Es talks to us on the day her debut memoir Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley is published. Okay, it’s not really an “ear-crushing aural assault on the senses,” it’s just an interview, but lend a crushed ear to hear about Carol’s adventures in writing and publishing a book, as well as her take on how Scientology ultimately affected her approach to the book (probably not in the way you might think), how her friends and family have reacted (before even reading the book), about her upcoming book launch/art show at the Craig Krull Gallery in Santa Monica, and how ultimately the truth will always set you free.

Links mentioned in the episode:
Interview with artist and writer Carol Es
Desert Dog Books
Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley
Los Angeles artist Carol Es – THIS IS NOT A TEST #3
The death of the truth

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Interview with Carol Es: Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley

Transcript

Some Book Reviews and Also the History of the Earth

Let’s talk about the earth, humanity, science and yes, maybe also work in 20 book reviews somehow: “Scar Tissue” by Anthony Kiedis, “Hit So Hard” by Patty Schemel, “Gold Dust Woman” by Stephen Davis, “There’s No Bones in Ice Cream” by Sylvain Sylvain, “The Most Beautiful: My Life with Prince” by Mayte Garcia, “Complicated Fun: The Birth of Minneapolis Punk and Indie Rock, 1974-1984” by Cyn Collins, “The Birth of Loud: Leo Fender, Les Paul, and the Guitar-Pioneering Rivalry That Shaped Rock ‘n’ Roll” by Ian Port, “Broad Band: The Untold Story of the Women Who Made the Internet” by Claire Evans, “How the Internet Happened: From Netscape to the iPhone” by Brian McCullough, “How to Write an Autobiographical Novel,” by Alexander Chee, “Choose Your Own Disaster” by Dana Schwartz, “A Farewell to Walmart” by Carly J. Hallman, “The First Bad Man” by Miranda July, “Strange Angel: The Otherworldly Life of Rocket Scientist John Whiteside Parsons” by George Pendle, “Life at the Dakota: New York’s Most Unusual Address” by Stephen Birmingham, “World of Our Fathers: The Journey of the East European Jews to America and the Life They Found and Made” by Irving Howe, “Grandma Gatewood’s Walk: The Inspiring Story of the Woman Who Saved the Appalachian Trail” by Ben Montgomery, “On Drinking” by Charles Bukowski, “In Pieces” by Sally Field, and “Girl Boy Girl: How I Became JT Leroy” by Savannah Knoop. Now take a breath.

Links mentioned in the episode: The 2015 Oscar ceremony wrap-up

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THIS IS NOT A TEST number 99 - Some Book Reviews and Also the History of the Earth