Earth's most beloved podcast

THIS IS NOT A TEST with Michael Jerome Phillips

THIS IS NOT A TEST, with your pal and confidant Michael Jerome Phillips

Vanished From iTunes Like a Five Dollar Bill From a Three-Card Monte Table

iTunes, man's greatest gift to Satan

The fine and wonderful folks at Apple changed the iTunes categories for what appears to be no reason, and when I updated my feed to adapt to those changes I must have changed something else that made iTunes drop the podcast from their listings completely.

I think I’ve fixed it, but we’ll see.

Come Fly With Me

Let’s talk about air travel, airplanes, and people, and maybe also the Eiffel Tower, the Grand Canyon, Palm Springs in the summer, LAX, a deep, hacking, ugly cough, Pringles, pretzels, vodka, pasta salad, La-Z-Boys, Mountain Dew, nuns, flowy peasant blouses, iPods, Tunis Air, half-price fajita night, tuberculosis, and the joys of a good mani/pedi.

Links mentioned in the episode: The Integratron

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THIS IS NOT A TEST - Come Fly With Me


What Did You Do Today?

This morning I did something to this site and broke it. Then I broke it again, and now it’s fixed. I think.

What broke was an old (old) theme that I’d built a child theme around. I knew the day was coming because the parent theme has been defunct for years now, but you know how it goes. “If it ain’t broke,” and all that.

WordPress is a dogshit framework, I have to say. Not because of what happened today, that was my fault. But I have to laugh when I read how EASY it is to use, and how ANYONE can make a BEAUTIFUL, groovy website with it.

That is a lie, my friends.

I write and read and edit WordPress tutorials every day, it’s a big part of my job. I would hazard a guess that I know more about WordPress than the average person walking down the street. But every time I have to go into WordPress or update WordPress or fix WordPress, I cringe, because it’s a big, unwieldy, bloated awful piece of shit.

When you tell me that the average person who wants a website—but doesn’t know how to build one—should use WordPress because it’s EASY, I say you are a sadist and a cad. And possibly mentally disturbed. How dare you!

Life Must Be Somewhere to Be Found

Allow me to regale you with more tales of packing up and moving, the Kingdom of Nye, the end of the road, Los Angeles, the high desert, America’s Next Top Model, the 60 freeway, LAX, the Milky Way, leaf blowers, Bedouins, mountain biking, Germans, landlords, cucumber water, and how Instagram is destroying the National Parks. If that’s not enough, I don’t know what to tell you.

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THIS IS NOT A TEST episode 103


What Time Is It?

It’s the first Saturday of the month, that’s what time it is, and that means a brand new episode of THIS IS NOT A TEST!


But not today, brothers and sisters. I am still digging out from under a(nother) house move, and I just can’t at the moment.

But I’ll be back as soon as humanly possible with more tales from the beyond.


Prince and Morris Day celebrate THIS IS NOT A TEST taking a week off

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Hi. I’ve always been honest with you, except when I’m lying, so I have to say that I recorded this episode and put it on the shelf because I didn’t think it was good enough. “Good enough” being a subjective term, of course. But as it happens, I’m packing to move (again), which means there’s no time to come up with a replacement. So rather than leave a month-long hole in the schedule, I present you with this not-good-enough episode, where I talk about the death of Google Plus, shortwave radio, and rare books. When I emerge from the move and come up for air, I’ll let you know where I am in the world, and I’ll hit you with a top-notch, super-interesting, A-1 professional episode. Or just more of the same, that remains to be seen.

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THIS IS NOT A TEST - You Can't Always Get What You Want


THIS IS NOT A TEST is now on Pandora

Sound the alarm, now you can get your THIS IS NOT A TEST fix on Pandora.

You can find it by searching for – you guessed it – THIS IS NOT A TEST on the Pandora Android app. I suppose that applies to the iPhone as well, but I don’t have any iAnythings to check for myself. For some reason, you can’t find any podcasts on the Pandora desktop app.

Like Spotify, Pandora isn’t open to just any podcast (yet, anyway), so make my backroom wheeling and dealing efforts worthwhile and listen while you…do whatever it is you do while listening to Pandora.

Soon there will be no escaping THIS IS NOT A TEST. You may as well give up and join us now before your mother starts talking about the show.

How a Jacket Changed My Life

This episode starts with a bang and just keeps bangin’ ’till the cows come home. LOL! LOL! We will discuss Jah Himself, hippies, Mahtomedi Minnesota, aliens, beaver, curry, secret handshakes, Toughskins, ski jackets, the birth of the puffy jacket and its early victims, living in your cousin’s basement, the leather store, the perfection of the Schott Perfecto, molesting outerwear, getting the shit kicked out of you, feeling invincible, being invincible, magic, romance, chaos, Sonny Vincent, being twins with your girlfriend, what is cool? osmosis, chaos and upheaval, writing the story that no one else will write.

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Comment by phone: (628) 333-4860 (Be aware: I may play your message on the show.)