How's your health (insurance)?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Okay, but what do I need to eat to keep the insurance company away? Also, maps, taking a shower, Richie Havens, rabbit holes, incompetent doctors, the condition known as “Heisenblatt shoulder,” living on the high side of normal, treadmills, torturing people and measuring how their bodies react, colonoscopies, forgetting how to walk, insurance, insurance and more insurance, magic mathematics, good insurance vs. bad insurance, half a car, the safe in my closet, La-Z-Boy recliners, puritans, Vulcans, Mr. Rogers and Carol Burnett.